Forgotten Longing
by frontalprobe
Summary: After Sesshomaru left Rin under the care of Lady Kaede, time quickly passed and his visits stopped. After 10 years, Rin has now grown into a thoughtful and brave young maiden full of depth and wonder. When an abnormal storm hits the village and the original gang is no where to be found, Rin must find a way to control the situation on her own. That's until, she receives a visit.


**Hello there! So this is my first fan-fiction that I had contemplated making over several months now. I am more than happy with how far I have come, and I hope you all will enjoy what I have made so far! Okay, so we all know that while Rin was a crucial character for Sesshomaru's development, she was always a rather small character throughout the series. All we got to see of her was her undying devotion to Sesshomaru. Like many interesting side characters (ex. Kohaku and Kagura) we didn't really receive much of her innermost thoughts. But it's understandable since that would give her character a more leading role, which she was not initially made for. So this story has been made in first-person in Rin's point of view so we can picture what it would be like if she had a role almost as important as Kagome's! As said in the summary, this story is set ten years after Lord Sesshomaru decided to leave Rin with the gang in Lady Kaede's village. While he never discontinues leaving her gifts every year, he does stop taking the time to see her. This fills Rin with conflicting thoughts and feelings that have come with age and a more in-depth perception towards life. Keep reading to see how Rin deals with these new emotions she feels towards the man who once protected her with his life!**

Chapter 1

Harsh crackling coming from the sky caught my attention as I separated the healing herbs that sat in a circle around me. The large mass of dark clouds slowly inched towards Lady Kaede's village, turning the beautiful spring evening into a somber dusk. _I'd better help Kagome and Sango with anything before the storm hits._ I try to collect every herb into my basket as quickly as I could, but the storm had already settled above the patch of land where I sat. The light drops of water fastened, soon pelting sharp droplets of ice. My skin began to painfully sting and the soil beneath me had turned into thick mud as I ran to the village. _What is happening?_ This was no normal storm. By the time I had arrived, I could no longer see before me or bear the pain of the ice which now fell as large chunks. The air felt angry as it forcefully pushed against the small huts of straw and bamboo that lined the middle of the village. Villagers ran frantically from left to right, shouting fearfully as the merciless storm ignited a chaos I had not witnessed in years.

"Lady Kagome! Find Lady Kagome and Inuyasha!"

"Help us!"

 _Why were they crying for help?_ It was only a fierce storm, but perhaps the villagers noted the unease only an unearthly presence could create as well. A small child that belonged to my friend Aiko stood within the panicked villagers, trying desperately to shield off the ice with his arms. I run and grab the boy and make way to his parent's house. Although I could not see, the village's paths had been engraved into my mind after spending the past 10 years of my life here. I burst through the entrance to find Aiko tending to Garu, the child's father. The young man appeared unconscious and his legs were badly injured as Aiko wrapped white bandage around them. Bones protruded from the bloody bandages and sent a chill down my spine. _There has already been someone gravely injured?_

"Kito!" she screamed and ran to the child. "Why are you drenched? I left you with your grandmother!"

"He was sitting in the middle of the storm. I didn't see his grandmother anywhere. It's terrible out there, you mustn't leave your home. What happened to Garu?"

"Thank you for bringing him, Rin." She said as she gave my arm a light squeeze. "Three men of the village brought him and said that he had fallen off the main bridge when the storm hit. He hasn't awaken." Her light brown eyes strained as she stared at her husband with fear. "What do you think is happening?"

"I am not sure myself, but I am going to search for Kagome or the others to see if I can find out. Here." I open the basket of herbs I carried and handed her 3 bundles of Mino roots. "Grind these to powder and mix with hot water. Let him drink it when he awakens. It should help with the pain in his legs." Her worried expression softened at the sight of the medicine, but quickly went back to its old way as she looked back up at me.

"I know there is something evil out there, Rin. This storm…is not right. You can't leave. You're drenched as well. At least wait until your clothes dry. Who knows what Lord Sesshomaru will do if he finds you harmed…"

"I know. There is something else other than nature controlling this storm, but I must. I promised Lady Kaede I would assist Inuyasha and the others with protecting this village. I am an adult now. I'm sure Sesshomaru will understand." I couldn't help but smile at the thought of him worrying over me. It always revealed a tender side to him that only I have truly witnessed, but that memory has faded. I have not seen Lord Sesshomaru in quite a while, but he never fails to bring me fine gifts from across Japan. "Be safe, Aiko."

Chapter 2

I run outside and quickly follow the direction to Kagome and Inuyasha's home which lies at the base of the village's river. The villagers had all made it to their homes, leaving the outside barren and even more cold than before. The ice had stopped and now there was only freezing rain, but too much of it could overflow the rice patties which would be a harsh strain to the village. _I have to hurry!_

"Lady Kago-" but there was no one inside their warm, colorful hut. The room smelled of a sweet and recognizable scent. Kagome's potions from her world perhaps. The fire had been left on and Kagome's bow and sacred arrows were laying untouched on the floor. I stared into the room and noticed small pictures stuck against a wall. They were colorful pictures of all of us, those who had been afflicted by Naraku 10 years ago. The pictures had been taken by Kagome's odd contraption called a "camera" that was able to amazingly capture a moment with the simple click of a button. The picture magically came out of the contraption as well! I have come into their hut before, but have never noted them. There was one of me and Lady Kaede when I had first arrived to the village, one of Sango's children playing within rice patties, one of Sango and Miroku watching the river at dusk, and one of them all together not too long after she had returned. The last one was a more recent one of her and Inuyasha. I could tell only by Kagome's wiser, more aged appearance. She stood behind him smiling with her face buried into his neck and he faced the camera with closed eyes and an agitated expression. Blood rushed to my cheeks as I began to realize that I might have seen personal items that were not meant for my eyes. I tore my attention from the pictures and looked around the hut once again to see that the entire room was filled with oddities such as a very large futon held up by wood, Kagome's books (which she's taught me how to read), and even an spiked oval shaped weapon with a handle that Lady Kagome often sharpens by running through her hair. They were very odd indeed! Kagome had brought several things from her world to this one, and she never paid much mind to them even though they worked wonders. The only thing she cherished and never allowed to part from her side were her bow and sacred arrows. I remembered the terrible storm and was overcome by a sense of uncertainty once again. Even Kagome and Inuyasha's hut could no longer mask it. _This is not right._ I grab hold of Kagome's bow and sacred arrows but let out a sharp shriek and dropped them due to a pain that entered my fingers and shook my entire body, leaving it pulsating harshly. A light glow radiated off of them at the handling of someone else who was not their common user. Kagome's sacred arrows contained too much spiritual power for me to handle. Kaede and Kagome had tried to teach me the ways of a priestess, but I was meant to be a healer. _I have to find a way hold these!_ I grab her bow once again and hook the tip of it into her quiver's strap, and ran back through the huts entrance and into the rain in search of them. I run at a steady pace to balance the arrows, careful to not allow them to fall near me. I arrive at the Bone Eater's well but find neither of them. _Where could they be? What shall I do?!_ The calmness within me began to falter as I searched and searched throughout Inuyasha's forest. I had left the villagers alone without a warning. If anyone finds out that Inuyasha or the others have gone missing than there will be even more chaos than before! The storm's waters had not stopped throughout my search and eventually began to cover my feet with water. Suddenly I heard something amongst the trees. I look up only to see water falling heavily from above, but catch the glint of Kohaku's weapon as he stealthily jumped from tree to tree. "Kohaku! Wait!" I scream at him, almost falling over Kagome's bow.

He stops and glances over to me and makes way to the trunk I stood upon. "Rin, what are you doing here? Get back to the village!" His demon-slaying clothes are drenched as he jumps to the ground making a large splash of water. "What is happening Kohaku? Where is everyone? I checked Inuyasha and Kagome's hut and they weren't there!"

"I don't' know either," he replies, his jaw straining at the sound of the thunder that shook the earth beneath us. His hair had been cut short recently, revealing a new growth I had not noticed before. We met under grave circumstances and I can still remember the immense suffering and sadness in his eyes. I could still sense a small trace of it lingering within them. The freckles that decorated his nose had grown darker over time as well due to the large amount of time he spent training in the sun. "Sango and Miroku set out to search for Kagome and InuYasha. We can't find them anywhere."

"They've gone missing?!"

"We're not sure. Before the storm had hit Inuyasha said he smelled a demon heading towards the village. He set out to kill it, but Kagome told him to take her along with him. He refused at first since she did not have her bow and arrow but she told him to not take her lightly and threatened to sit him. It was pretty funny!"

"Kohaku! Continue!"

"Oh, right. Well Sango and Miroku left when the storm began to grow near the village. They said to stay back and protect the village but I decided to search the surrounding forest to see if there are any threats."

"I hope they are safe…"

"So do I. Rin, why do you have Kagome's bow and sacred arrows?"

"I wanted to give them to her. Kohaku, could you follow Sango and Miroku and deliver them to her?"

"Then the village would be left open to any demon and I am the only demon slayer around right now. I can't, Rin…"

"Kohaku, Kagome can purify the entire surrounding area with her arrows and spiritual power. You know this. Without them, the group could be gravely injured. There has already been one casualty back at the village. The faster she gets them, the faster they can all return."

He met my gaze and finally agreed. Taking off into the distance, he jumped from branch to branch towards the direction Sango and Miroku left. _Please don't let anything break the peace we have taken so long to build._

Chapter 3

I reached my own hut and collapse to the wooden floor. The running had exhausted me completely and my feet were now bloody with open wounds. They were so cold I could barely feel the warmth of my hands. I look at my body to see light bruises covering almost every space on my arms and legs. The search and heavy rain had taken its toll on me. I strip from my soaked kimono and change into one made of expensive silk. It had been gifted to me from Lord Sesshomaru about a year ago. He has been leaving me gifts since the day Lady Kaede agreed to watch me, but he hasn't met with me in years. As time passed, so did his time spent with me. All I know of him now are the gifts he places on a small table within my home. At times I feel as though he distanced himself so I can live the life of a normal human girl, but most of time I am only filled with a loneliness that could cause even the strongest of soldiers to fall. At a time, he was my only source of comfort and security. I long to spend my days by his side once again, to awaken to a new land everyday with Jaken's annoying voice ringing in my ears. While I do enjoy my days spent amongst villagers and people of my kind, I still miss his presence by me. I miss living an uncommon, dangerous life, but always knowing that I would be protected. As a girl, this acknowledgement filled my small, broken heart with a lightness all children should feel. But those are the wants of a lost, orphaned young girl. Under Lady Kaede's wise teaching I learned discipline and the tender ways of human nature. Had I continued to live my life in the harsh wilderness, I would've only become a burden to him and his wanderings.

I light a small fire within my hut and hug my knees to my chest. After Lady Kaede's death, I lived alone. As days passed, I grew quite acquainted with solitude, something I had lost touch with since the death of my parents. I had made dear friends that lived within the village such as Aiko and the others, but that alone always failed to fill this emptiness within me. The fire's light flickered and sent small sparks into the air that disappeared to nothingness. Somehow, I felt a light connection with the sparks of that small fire. Humans are meek and fragile compared to those who are born from an unearthly realm. I will never understand why Lord Sesshomaru chose me. There was not much I could do ever do for him. Suddenly, his absence was no longer a mystery to me. I then laid on the floor with my hands on my chest, the cold realization sending pangs of soft pain throughout it.

I was jolted awake by a loud thunder that felt like the most violent of them all. I look out the window to see that the light of day had vanished and night had now taken its toll, but the rain hadn't stopped. The fire was still flickering so I imagine I had not slept for long. Still, I should not have slept at all! The village was completely vulnerable right now and there could be people injured. I slip on my sandals and grab my basket of herbs that I had luckily not forgotten in my search from earlier that day. I decided to see if anyone had returned or if there was anyone that needed healing. As I search for water to kill the fire, the scent of wet fur and river water filled the small hut. _It can't…_ I stop and stare at the corner of a wall, silent and immobile. My hands begin to tremble as I slowly turn to see the wet, solemn face of the familiar demon I ached to see again. His beautiful golden eyes quickly observed the hut and finally settled on me. The moment his eyes met mine, my chest strained and I placed had a hand once again upon the immense physical pain that caused me to wince. The memories I had tried for so long to forget were now all that my mind could focus on as I observed the majestic being before me.

"Rin." He says in a firm voice as he enters the hut fully. There he stood, elegantly, staring down at me on the wooden floor. The clank of his Tensaiga against his heavy clothes and armor filled me with a nostalgia that caused my eyes to burn with hot tears. I haven't cried since the night he left me on this village. Even then, I cried only as he left. I didn't enjoy showing anyone this side to me, but somehow I lost all control. I was suddenly mute and couldn't find the words to express the feelings within me. I couldn't quite define them either.

Lord Sesshomaru's eyes widened. "Rin, are you alright?" His face did not change at the sight of my tears, nor did the calmness of his pleasant voice.

He took one step forward before I lunged at him. "Lord Sesshomaru!" I drop the basket and slam into the tall figure dressed in the pristine white kimono. I hug him and noticed how close I've grown to his face. I've lost count of the years that have passed since the last time I've met with him, but just one glance of him filled the emptiness I had grown so accustomed to. A wave of sadness filled my heart as my face laid against the firm chest of the rigid being. His heart beat steadily while mine felt as though it was tearing to two. _Why am I feeling so much pain? Shouldn't I feel happy to see him?_ My hands soon gripped the kimono on his back and trembled at the amount of force I put into them. My tears fall silently and leave stains on the white fabric. He lightly places his hand on my head and accepts my embrace. Silence fills the room with the soft patter of rain from outside as my tears continue to fall and as we stand at the foot of hut's entrance. As a child, I remember never wanting him to experience anything without me watching beside him. He had become such an important being in my young life that I couldn't imagine not following him until the end of me. There we stood in a warm embrace, still harshly distanced by lost time.

Chapter 4

The daiyokai that stands before me has preyed upon this earth for centuries, and I, a mere mortal of 21 years, am feeling troubled over the presence of an old companion. _What a simple creature I must be. Is this why he hasn't returned? Because there is nothing "new" to see?_ I felt very small. Not by our difference in size, which has always been apparent, but by the wonderment of knowing his thoughts, what he has done. I wish he had never left.

"It's been quite a long time," I whisper.

"Yes. You have grown."

"Yes."

I turned my face and breathe in the scent of his mokomoko that hung over his shoulder. The soft, fine hairs only tugged at my heart even more, causing thick tears to cloud my eyes.

"Why are you crying?" He asks in the same stable tone.

"Why haven't you visited me in so long?" My heart begins to race at the coldness in my voice. A sudden vision of our first encounter flashes through my mind right afterwards. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to." I shift my head upwards and glance at his thin face. His appearance has not changed at all. His clear complexion and daiyokai markings remind me of his respectable lineage. The perfect crescent moon on his forehead looked absolutely beautiful, enhancing his already fine face with a celestial essence I had never noticed before. His vibrant-gold eyes flickered and meet mine. I smile a small, teary grin and let out a light laugh at the tenderness that showed on his relaxed expression.

He doesn't respond. I release my embrace and step away from him.

"Have I done something wrong, my Lord?" I ask as the tearing in my chest deepens. _What am I saying?_

The voice inside my head screamed at the words forming at my lips. Lord Sesshomaru's expression has changed, but is still masked and unreadable. I remember noticing this often as a child.

"You've done nothing wrong, Rin."

"Ha, I'm sorry." I whisper. I avert my eyes and hope he doesn't see my embarrassment, but I know his senses are far more heightened than my own. He reaches out a hand and grabs a piece of my hair at the side of my face and observes it silently with intriguing eyes. His thin fingers move nimbly, almost as though he gained something new from counting every strand. Dropping the hair, he then places his hand on my cheek and wipes away the tears at the corner of my eyes with his thumb, careful of his long nails. His foreign touch feels like I have just returned "home".

"Thank you for all the gifts you bring me. They're beautiful!" I place my hand over his and clench it gently.

He responds with a slight nod. "I'm pleased to know you favor them."

"Do you deliver them yourself?"

"I send Jaken most times."

A small burst of disappointment erupted within me, causing the wave of sadness from before to return.

I set my forehead against his chest once again. "I see."

I'd like to explore this new pain in my chest for a while longer.

Chapter 4

I look down at his hand and run my fingers over the light red markings at the sides of his wrists that lead to his upper body. Who knew he was so intriguing? I felt embarrassed by how nonchalant my childish ways must have treated such a worthy being. But I also felt curious. What had I not noticed before? Why does it feel as though I am meeting my Lord once more? But this time, with a new sight. I glance up at him again and catch his watchful eyes. There was something different about them from what I remember, which was an arid emptiness that would at times soften with sentiment. This new look was slightly different. My human senses hindered my understanding of them, almost tricking myself into believing it was _longing._

After another long moment of silence, a large grin spread across my face as I asked, "Where is Jaken?"

"He stayed at the Western Lands."

"Is that where you have been staying all this time?"

"There, and other places."

"Still…wandering?"


End file.
